This is the NO DELI drink diary, wherein I struggle to document all of my beverage adventures, keep my Ænglish skillz intact, and unlearn basic HTML.
Things are not finished here. At all. That’s why this top post is so long – to ensure that you understand this. Shit is broke.
Only vaguely do I remember Fred Sanford invoking ‘Ripple’ – long before I understood the reference, much less the gags. He’d say things like…
…and it got a canned laugh every time.
Well, it turns out that Ripple was a real wine. Er – “wine”.
It came in several flavors, including ‘pear‘, and ‘red‘.
Ripple had truly memorable ad campaigns, such as:
So, credit to bumwine.com for clueing me in on the details about “the national wine of Watts“, and reminding me of the subtle genius of Redd Foxx.
In honor of both, I offer this quickie sound collage. It includes some dialog about Ripple (vs. “fancy wine”), and a slightly remixed version of the Sanford & Son Theme. Listen to it, and watch ^that eye. Enjoy!
(PS – In real life, Redd Foxx was significantly less ghetto.)
Yeah. Not nearly as impressive as Hot Pants Drink.
But what is?
In a subtle twist on a long tradition at Jones Soda, they’re now releasing a Tofurky & Gravy flavor!
That’s the good news.
The bad news is that it’s made with Splenda™ instead of proper sugar. So, just in time for Armistice Day, welcome to the Western Front of soda pop – where we simultaneously move one inch forward and one inch back again.
:-/
In commemoration of this fascinating holiday, I’m drinking a bottle of ΕΨΑ’s Orangeade. It’s the least I can do, and the occasion had me re-reviewing ΕΨΑ’s ace website, some quotes from which will now follow:
Our factory is wonderful. It has intensely traditional style and it gives a sense of harmony as old and new coexist in a splendidly shaped space.
The new look of EPSA is so much enjoyable that «your eyes enjoy» makes you anticipate tasting the authentic flavours of dew that contain.
«When I am thirsty between the choices that exist, and everybody else drinks what it is found in front of them, I insist in choosing EPSA.»
Until now we knew that Greeks were fighting like heroes; from now on we shall say that the heroes fight like Greeks.
In a case of either intimidation, incompetence, or ignorance of law: Hansen’s/Monster Energy Drinks has sent (via its crack, outsourced legal team) some nasty messages to a fellow drink reviewer. Read here or here for background. Let’s hope the PR people at Monster shorten the leash of their little sub-contracted paralegals.
Meanwhile, maybe now’s a good time to begin ignoring Hansen’s products.
Wait. I was already doing that.
PS: WTF? Srsly.
Six Fortune Mandarin Orange Drink.
Another orange float – this time a product of Corea.
Not much more to say about that.
Proudly “Produced By National Factory for Foodstuff Production“ says the can.
This perfectly respectable Jordanian orange float (aka ‘orange sac drink’) appears pictured here with its little brother – pineapple float. But, in the pineapple Zakey, what substance substitutes for that crucial orange pulp…?
