This is the NO DELI drink diary, wherein I struggle to document all of my beverage adventures, keep my Ænglish skillz intact, and unlearn basic HTML.
Things are not finished here. At all. That’s why this top post is so long – to ensure that you understand this. Shit is broke.
It looks like some Mukuzani f i n a l l y wandered onto the SAQ’s loading docks. But being, perhaps, better at fixing their prices than fixing their website, my suggestion that they check their small error has – so far – gone unheeded.*
Allow me to illustrate their mistake here, with bright red arrows:
VS.
O? You mean they confused those two countries that had the recent war? One of which is still occupied by the other? Yeah.
…
I know nothing about this Chinglishish-sounding distributor, or the winery in particular – but it’s produced in Kvarali, and they (mysteriously) use the wrong corks.
It’s pretty fair stuff as Mukuzani goes. I expect les Québerets-types will disagree as a matter of course. But then, those are the same «spécialistes du vin» who have such trouble with geography outside of les régions françaises (and, of course, toutes les régions de la Nouvelle-France). So.
*[07/01/10 Update: It took the SAQ data entry monkeys over two weeks to punch-in this small change, but I see that it's finally been done.]
There are quite a number of foolish things about this ad. But the only alternatives to soda are seltzer water and milk?! Really? Juice isn’t even on the menu? Maybe tea? Forget soymilk, I guess.
The seltzer/skim milk dichotomy is presented in the print campaign too!
Are the Dairy Board people backing this hoopla? …Because we all know who’s behind the seltzer suggestion. It’s Dr. Keith Thornton! He’s a New Yorker too – and he just psychologically put their minds to it.
Based in İzmir, (AKA Smyrna) Turkey, I suppose that the Dimes Company calls this one “Classic” in honor of all Smyrna’s former residents. You know – the ones who planted the cherry trees? The ones who were viciously burnt out of their homes, tortured, and then literally chased into the sea…? Yeah, cheers to them guys. Thanks for the juice.
To celebrate my purchase of ^this clunky, inelegant, Euro-frump rendition of a tetsubin, I also bought some lapsang-souchong-in-a-box. While I graciously accept my new teapot’s flawsnuances, this nearly-generic lapsang is the most underwhelming I’ve ever had – and I can’t accept that.
If I did buy a tetsubin, I’d likely never sully it with such insipid stuff. You’ve got to have a scintilla of respect for quality cast-iron cookware!
Only vaguely do I remember Fred Sanford invoking ‘Ripple’ – long before I understood the reference, much less the gags. He’d say things like…
…and it got a canned laugh every time.
Well, it turns out that Ripple was a real wine. Er – “wine”.
It came in several flavors, including ‘pear‘, and ‘red‘.
Ripple had truly memorable ad campaigns, such as:
So, credit to bumwine.com for clueing me in on the details about “the national wine of Watts“, and reminding me of the subtle genius of Redd Foxx.
In honor of both, I offer this quickie sound collage. It includes some dialog about Ripple (vs. “fancy wine”), and a slightly remixed version of the Sanford & Son Theme. Listen to it, and watch ^that eye. Enjoy!
(PS – In real life, Redd Foxx was significantly less ghetto.)
Yeah. Not nearly as impressive as Hot Pants Drink.
But what is?
