Ben’s Special® – “It’s Blended! It’s Splendid! It’s Refreshing!”
…Speaking of Montreal landmarks, there’s Ben’s Deli: “World famous since 1908 for wonderful food”. I don’t know about that – it’s a deli. You can expect their smoked meat this-or-that, pickles, latkes, rye bread, and ‘grandma’s old style KONKLETT STEAK’ (?!?).
But then there’s BEN’S SPECIAL®, described on the menu as
“…a combinations (sic) of the choicest true fruit flavors and other pure ingredients blended with utmost care. $1.95.” Sounds good, eh?
Well, despite the glowing recommendation written on the menu (nevermind the big handpainted promo sign on the wall!) the old server behind the counter recommended against ordering BEN’S SPECIAL®!
Naturally, I took it anyway – with a straw in an 8 oz. glass.
It’s red.
It resembles neither “true fruit”, nor any other kind of fruit.
It resembles liquid bubblegum.
Anyway, aren’t their slogans old-timey and quaint? Oh dear, yes. Here’s what the place looks like inside.
Oh, man. I miss Ben’s. I was never a big fan of Schwartz’s but Ben’s was just the right distance from Concordia to run there for lunch. Never had the nerve to try Ben’s Special, and I guess I’m glad.
Once when Yet Another Perl Conference was being held in Montreal, about 60 geeks decided to go there for dinner without calling ahead. That went over really well. They came back to the conference complaining that they were restricted to only 3-4 choices from the menu, oblivious to the fact that any other place would turn at least half of them away.
Ben’s should be thankful if anyone under the age of 50 eats there, regardless. I was there during the lunch rush (on a weekday) and half the tables were old folks, the other half empty.
It’s a big place. Does it ever get really packed?
I’ve never seen it full, but I think the problem was more of everyone wanting their meal at the same time than of total volume.
i don’t like Bens. (you’ll notice that there is no apostrophe, presumably because without that grammatical marker, it is not technically in English and thus not in violation of French language laws. Cf. Mikes, Nichols, Indianas.) I went there when I first arrived in that city, and this was my experience:
1) a surly waiter who assured me that their food is of embarrassing low quality, and who had a gaping hole in the seat of his pants which left nothing to the imagination.
2) an insulting turnstyle at the exit, where you settle your bill with a nasty lady in a plexiglass cage. (is this a restaurant or the NYC subway?)
3) there was a disgruntled line cook who threw a crate full of dishes on the floor and swore loudly.
4) Bens special drink. Not unlike some Mr. Goudas sodas, except with more red dye.
despite the superficial quaintness of the place, I have never returned.
This is just a special, abrasive sort of charm that all tourists should be required to experience. You’ve perfectly captured it.
PLEASE DON’T FORGET “EATON“.
Now apostrophe-free!