Detail from one of several (!) varied disaster-motif spectacles at Olde Coney. Ah, refreshment.

This most recent continuation of that very same theme, the admission was free – but saw diminished attendance anyway. Hopefully it’ll be the last time they stage one of these rides.

Dateline: ~six months ago. I recall a news report about a Kazakh vodka that invoked the name of ‘Allah’ on its label (written in Arabic – so it took a cadre of good citizens and their respective Imams some time to establish this terrible blasphemy with any certainty). Anyway, after literacy struck it didn’t take long for the drink to get pulled from store shelves. When neither the consumers nor (apparently!) the graphic designers knew what the little squiggles meant – everyone was happy. Then ouuut marched the schoolmarms. See? There’s a moral in this.

The original articles I read were short on photos. Eventually, RFE shot a pic, but I must admit I was disappointed. After all that hype, hysterics, and hand-wringing! I imagined it would look something more like that.
☚

I’m grateful for the opportunity to finally float this pic, though.

Meaning:

Cockney rhyming slang for ‘beer‘.

Origin:

The Cockney rhyming slang ‘pig’s ear’ is one of the earliest examples of the form and appears in D. W. Barrett’s Life & Work among Navvies, 1880:

“Now, Jack, I’m goin’ to get a tiddley wink of pig’s ear.”

Franklin’s Dictionary of Rhyming Slang lists several alternatives for ‘beer’ – ‘Charlie Freer’, ‘far and near’, ‘never fear’, ‘oh my dear’, ‘red steer’, ‘Crimea‘, and ‘fusilier’ but ‘pig’s ear’ has always been the most popular.

No – it’s terrible easy to find.

Cachaça is not rum. Ok – sure. Except that it is. Rhum agricole. But from Brazil.

So even though these two are the same liquor, I’m unable to contrast them just now… except to say that only one is worth drinking in any quantity.

Ah. Ethos. The bestest jokey beverage of the ’00s – and certainly the original (only?) prank bottled water. There are a million novelty soda pops out there, but it’s a genuine challenge to squeeze a viciously cruel ironic jest from a mere water bottle. And Ethos keeps at it. For a decade now! Bravo.

Sad but true: at this point I recall the price more clearly than the flavor.
Ah, but if this were the only such case in my life – I’d be pleased as punch. Sigh. If only!

Anyway. Here’s a song.

So… I have no explanation for this. How some Azeri pomegranate juice came to (mis)appropriate circa-1990s hiphop terminology, I just cannot say.

Nevermind the romantic metaphorical use of ‘golden’ to describe what is almost invariably a red fruit. “Bling Bling – Not from concentrate“. It haunts me!

Welcome to my new series ‘From the Vault‘ – brought to you by my fine friends at Public Storage^® and Visa Inc. I’ll be going up and rescuing all neglected beverages out of the deep freeze and putting them on here. Because there’s just nowhere else to put them. Enjoy! Or don’t.

The only respectable recipe for a “low calorie” drink: simply subtract sugar, add _______.

Cf.

So… there was this Eska Water ad blitz in Canada last summer. Who would know, right? True enough. Anyway – I convinced a couple people to stop stocking the stuff. Uninteresting story.

But ^^^that absurd, insulting imagery distracted from the central plot point of the whole campaign – which was that the ‘purity’ of this sacred native water was being threatened by Joe Whiteguy (“Julien”, see here) mixing his orange juice into it. Okay now – WHO CUTS THEIR OJ WITH WATER?! Old ladies?! I’ve never heard of orange juice being so strong that it was necessary to water it down. Comically weak premise.

I bring this up not only because I like to remind companies that stupid ad campaigns are rarely (and should not be) forgotten, but because of this brutal irony: MANY native regions in Canada have unsafe drinking water. It’s a perennial problem. The reason? Perhaps because Eska Co. has lured away all the ancient Eskan warrior spirit-guards to work these regrettable TV commercials.

Informative interview with activist/commentator Clifton Nicholas (of Kanesatake) on this topic here:

Spotted on a store shelf today. Just tasteless.

If you think the passage of time makes this any more acceptable, you’re effed. How about American Airlines Flight 587 Beer? Hurricane Katrina Beer? Space Shuttle Columbia Beer? Haitian Cholera Outbreak Beer? Comayagua Prison Fire Beer? Chernobyl Beer? Where to draw the line? Let’s not be shy!

Human tragedy provides an endless list of disrespectful naming suggestions for your commemorative beverage!

[a. F. décanter, ad. med.L. dēcanthāre (alchemy), f. dē- down + canthus the angular beak or ‘lip’ of a cup or jug, a transferred use of Gr. κάνθος corner of the eye.]

“Decanter – a Bottle made of clear Flint-Glass for the holding of Wine, etc. to be pour’d off into a Drinking-Glass.” – [1715]

No idea who ‘Bruce Cost’ is supposed to be; is this a designer soda? Anyway, it’s decent, sure. Bottled in Brooklyn, goes well with a(n imported) bialy, people love this stuff – I’ve seen the emptied shelves. Even the shillabers over at fulldisclosure.com are into it.

But the label.       Why this lame, ’80s punk zine, sloppy typewriter font? WHY?
I’ve seen other sodas use it, but they’re hippies. No one expects them to understand design.

C’mon Mr. Cost – whoever you are. Fix it!

According to the press, today (the second Thursday in February) has been declared the first annual International Day of International Days.

Orrr Winter Saperavi Day. Opting for the latter, I find I’m not at all prepared for this new holiday: being undersupplied in both Saperavi, and day – but sitting on somewhat of a surplus of winter.