Now this:

Pepsi, with ‘yogurt flavor’.

But – as always – we forgive them, because they are Japanese. However, if Pepsi Co. brought that level of inventiveness to its Occidental markets, the ailing corp. might see a little turn-around.

[edit: let's not forget Pepsi Red, Pepsi Gold, and ... Pepsi Ice]

                     “allo my queen!”

Type “L” on the same computer and that helpful autofill feature gives me:

“liked your honesty”
“liked your profile”
“looking good as usual”
“LOVED YOUR PROFILE”
“lovely lady”
“lovely profile”
“lovely smile”

Type “Y” and I get:

“you are gorgeous”
“you are adorable”
“you are the sexiest on this site”
“you are quick to judge”
“you never give me a chance hun”
“you never let me get to know you”
“your adorable”
“your difficult”

It seems that this fellow is a regular here – spending hours online. His name is RENO.
He’s a playa, and he’s showing you how.

The once-novel, now-ubiquitous Fiji Water is bad enough – having pioneered a stupid, inconvenient, rectangular bottle shape the likes of which will not fit into conventional cup holders, coasters, carriers, etc.

Now introducing more stupider:

“Aquadeco”. Yeah.

“Aquadeco”. “Aquadeco”.

Originally, this artesian water came from Mt. Ararat… but the quality wasn’t up to par (according to fairly lax FDA importation standards) so now they fill these ridiculous bottles from a pristine spigot in exotic Southern Ontario.

Though it’s annoying to discuss the blindingly obvious – I guess we’re already on the subject: The environmental ruination caused by the “bottled water boom” of this past decade is really near-incalculable, and the fact that this particularly stupid water travels a little less far than it might’ve still doesn’t apologize for its profound negative impact.

And certainly nothing can apologize for the ‘novelty’ concept and its crowbarred-in name.

“Aquadeco”.

This online diary will be respecting the much-touted, ill-organized ‘work stoppage‘, not for a mere day – but for the next several. Think of this as my vacation notice, with my [eventual] resignation nevertheless pending.

These ZIPS are good! Little chiclets with sodium bicarbonate mixed in. Fun guys!

Rivella.

Yes – there is actually a soda pop made from whey. ‘Whey‘ as in ‘ack‘.
Yes – someone thought they would take delicious milk plasma… and carbonate it. Mmm.

By way of explaining the divergent reception to Rivella between the US and Switzerland, a spokesperson said:

“Swiss people grow up with Rivella; they are almost as familiar with it as breast milk.”

Ack!        Further:

“You have to explain what’s special about Rivella, that it’s a milk-derived product. It is difficult to describe how it tastes; there’s no Rivella fruit or tree.”

No I guess there’s not. Instead, Rivella comes from countless cows trapped in boxes. And it’s gross. I think we all understand that – no further explanation necessary.

=

It’s one full litre of that disgusting orange vitamin taste – direct from Poland and with an eye-scorching silver label. I bought it at one of the many Eastern ‘Euro’ marts that line the final stretch of Αχαρνών, where the street disintegrates into freeway overpasses and parking lots.

A Swedish acquaintance informs me that, in his country, it’s Polish truck drivers who infamously fall asleep at the wheel and cause accidents. And here is this Polish energy drink is called TRUCK? That’s just too-fucking-much.

Mmm.

Thanks, Dia. This almost redeems your janky, grimy, so-called ‘supermarkets’.

Mote con huesillo…

mate de coca…

and cortado at a “café con piernas” place.

Further research into that last item reveals that café con piernas (“coffee with legs”) is a kind of a…

well…

“After their heyday in the late 90s, some Cafés con Piernas still resist in Santiago and other cities, employing half-naked women to combine erotic stimulation with the one provided by coffee.

The first Cafés con Piernas appeared in the Chilean capital when, due to bad business, some owners decided to replace the usual waiters by very lightly dressed, attractive ladies…

The name ‘Café con Piernas’ was adapted by locals because of smoked glass screens that protected the identities of those inside but allowed the view of women legs.

The Cafés con Piernas soon had the opposition of the most conservative sectors that preached they were responsible for the increase of infidelity, immorality and the degeneration of the female role in the society but stayed open for a significant time as city alcaldes (mayors) defended they ensured many jobs. When some started to offer sexual services, they were closed or, as it happened more recently, became real prostitution bars with a dark, smoky atmosphere.” [sic straight thru]

And I’ve nothing to add to that.

Interesting notes from Wikipedia:

“The name dandelion is a corruption of the Old French, dent-de-lion, literally “lion’s tooth” on account of the sharply lobed leaves of the plant.”

And:

“It should be noted that uncooked, the dandelion has a diuretic effect and is known in France as pissenlit (literally, “wet the bed”) for precisely this reason.”

Fraud.
Anyway, yuck.

The lake, the “pearl of Siberia”, has a less-than-stellar reputation concerning pollution (not surprisingly, since it is in Russia).
The soft drink, or “soda” as we like to call them here, is actually made in Latvia, which is fairly far away from Siberia.
This did not stop those Latvians from waxing poetic about that romantic and far-away body of water by naming a soda pop after it.

Baikal Soft Drink has no immediately identifiable flavor.
The ingredients have it containing a certain “natural herbal flavoring ‘BAIKAL’”.
So it’s a mystery – and a dubious one.

Being such a big bottle, I shared it with some friends, who gave it mixed – but generally positive reviews,
the most concise of which was that it tasted like a watered-down Cherry Coke.